Ahoy, mate, and welcome aboard the SS Stylinson, the ship of dreams. This is a happy, gay place, free of heterosexuality. Unfortunately, Captain Horan is on an extended lunch break and First Mate Tomlinson is off fraternizing with the Dread Pirate Styles, so all inquiries will have to be left in the ask box. We hope you enjoy your stay.
The eternal question plaguing Larry shippers:

What exactly do they whisper about all the damned time?

"Are you still sore from last night? ‘Cos I am."

The vast majority of us would give an arm, a leg and a kidney to know the secretive exchanges that take place in those moments of tense, sexually-charged lips-to-ear contact between Harry and Louis. After a thorough analysis of body language and position, combined with a healthy dose of speculation, I have concluded that Larry whispers fall into three categories:

  1. Badly disguised attempts to touch or get closer to one another
  2. Expressions of sexual frustration towards each another
  3. Mundane observations and inside jokes typical of those exchanged between lovers
In the parts that follow, I will demonstrate pictorial evidence and make educated guesses as to the exact content of these famous Larry whispers.
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PART ONE: TOUCH AND INTIMACY (featuring heavy amounts of kisspering)

"Whisper something into my ear so that I have an excuse to cup both my hands around your smooth-as-a-baby’s-bottom cheeks while you lift your hand to gently caress the back of mine."

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Oral communication doesn’t usually necessitate you guys to fucking intertwine your limbs around each other until there is not one iota of space between your bodies.

However, if this is just an excuse to snuggle your boyfriend’s neck, Lou, I completely understand because I get that urge every day.

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Don’t give me that whispering bullshit here because, given the average rate at which Harry speaks, there is no fucking way he got out more than one syllable during the nanosecond in which his lips came close to Louis’ ear. 

This is a kiss, bitches.

Either that or Louis had some jam on his cheek that Harry had the sudden urge to lick off.

Here is a close up version. Yep, still a kiss

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Whispering or neck-licking? You be the judge.

"Don’t drink too much Red Bull, or you’ll keep me up all night. Again."

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Pretty sure that’s not his ear, Louis. You’re seriously blurring the line between whispering and kisspering.

"Your hair smells good today. Garnier Fructis?"

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Finally, Larry demonstrate multiple instances of using whispering as an excuse to place hands on each other’s shoulders or waists or backs.

Warning: this one features Lou’s big bum and tiny hand. Always a good combination to induce the feels.

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PART TWO: SEXUAL FRUSTRATION

From the way Louis looks like his ear just orgasmed, one can assume that Harry wasn’t reminding him to buy milk.

"I promise to ride you so hard you’ll see stars" is the more likely guess.

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"Do you think anyone will notice if we make out back here?"

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"There’s something else I’d like to put in your mouth, Harry."

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"Hold still for a second, babe, because this will be the picture that explodes a thousand ovaries."

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What did Harry say to make Louis so flustered he has to brace himself against the couch?

"I’ve got such a boner right now I’m just going to hide out behind this couch until it goes away. It’s all your fault."

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What is so top secret that it cannot be overheard by sensitive ears?

"Do you think anyone will notice if we sneak off into the loo for a quickie during the next interview?"

(Hazza’s eyebrow raise indicates his approval of the idea.)

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"Playing with balls is fun, but playing with balls in our bedroom is more fun."

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PART THREE: THE LITTLE THINGS

Couples have their own language and way of communicating that involves little things like inside jokes, pointing out the mundane, and things that have significance only for them.

"Don’t look now, but there’s another girl who’s dressed up as a carrot. Play nice."

"Did you see what that girl was wearing? I wouldn’t be caught dead in it."

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Through whispers, they reveal their vulnerabilities only to each other.

"I’m kinda tired, babe, you’ll have to take over tonight."

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People in relationships do fun and silly things to explore the dynamic between them.

"I want you to change the lyrics to big brown poo and you’ll do it because it’ll make me happy and because you’re my whipped little bitch."

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Whispered words can range from mundane, everyday things …

"I think I left the stove on."

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… to dreams and expectations shared only between the two of them, wrapped up in a world of their own.

"I had a dream last night. I dreamt that you proposed to me while we were on Ellen and after we got married, we adopted a baby girl named Darcy."

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And sometimes, you have to come back for round two because you left some words out.

"You really nailed your solo …"

and

"… I love you."

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