Ahoy, mate, and welcome aboard the SS Stylinson, the ship of dreams. This is a happy, gay place, free of heterosexuality. Unfortunately, Captain Horan is on an extended lunch break and First Mate Tomlinson is off fraternizing with the Dread Pirate Styles, so all inquiries will have to be left in the ask box. We hope you enjoy your stay.
an overabundance of Louis feels

after reading froso’s rant (insightful and definitely worth reading), I was bombarded with a fuck ton of Louis feels, mostly with regards to Lou’s insecurity, jealousy with regards to Harry and general sense of vulnerability. 

I just need someone to share my pain with.

I’ve always felt Louis to be the most complex and layered member of the band. Sometimes he can be hard to read. It’s second nature to him to be able to mask his feelings and hide his vulnerability behind humor and a bravado. Sadly, Louis has a lot to feel vulnerable about in this current situation, including:

  1. Perceived as being the least popular member of 1D - Lou might be my personal favorite, but to many people, he’s dispensable because he can come across as rude and brash. He’s got the second least number of twitter followers after Zayn (is this because Zayn deleted his twitter at one point?). The fact that he’s the most controlled by management can also give fans the sense that he’s not appreciative enough of what he’s been given (the bullshit tweet, rudeness to Larry shippers on other occasions, etc.)
  2. Some people think he has the least to contribute to the group because he has the weakest voice - I’m not even going to address how much Lou’s voice kills me. I still cry each time I listen to his solo in Moments. But a boyband is more than the music, as management knows very well. It’s about a coherent, cookie-cutter image. Louis the glue that holds the band together. The other boys look up to Louis, not just because he’s the oldest, but because he’s the most articulate and can usually handle the more awkward moments during interviews, because he’s the creative one, the organized prankster, the one most willing to put his reputation on the line for the sake of the band.
  3. The speculation over his sexuality and people questioning his relationship - while I believe with 100% certainty that Elounor is a fake relationship, imagine how difficult it is for Lou to have to pretend to validate that relationship even though he’s in love with Harry (don’t mind me, just putting on my shipper goggles here). The fact that he’s not out yet, whether due to his contract or by his own choosing (I believe the former), means that it’s very stressful for his sexuality to be continuously questioned and for people to identify him as the “gay one” when he is contractually obliged to distance himself from that image. 
  4. His insecurity from dating the most popular member of the band - now this might be me reading too much into Larry’s relationship, but when it comes to Harry, Louis’s true feelings are sometimes so startling clear that it’s heartbreaking. Harry’s obviously the most popular member, and while we all know how much Harry genuinely loves Louis and often goes out of his way to show his love, it would be hard for anyone to contain their insecurity and jealousy when millions of people around the world wants a piece of your boyfriend. 
I don’t like to read too much into gifs, but I do believe they give fleeting glimpses into Louis’s mental state. While Harry tends to express his jealousy openly, reaching to touch or grab Lou when he sees his boyfriend getting intimate with someone else, Louis seems to bottle up his insecurities regarding his relationship with Harry. He isolates himself, almost wallows a bit in the fact that he has to share Harry with the world, and it absolutely kills me.
Louis’s bitch face when Alan Carr read a message from Harry’s female fan.
Louis’s I’m-so-done-with-this attitude during today’s radio interview was laughably obvious and heartbreaking. I know these interviewers don’t know much about 1D apart from their stereotypical portrayal in the media, so honestly I don’t blame them for constantly rehashing the womanizer/charmer/Harry is into older ladies jokes. Lou wasn’t in a good mood throughout the interview, and it just got worse when that “Maude” call came in (awful sense of humor much?) Honestly, if the person I loved kept being the brunt of such jokes, I’d be pissed too.
goddamn it I just want to hug him and cuddle him, or tell Harry to make sweet, sweet love to his boy until he knows that he’s the only person in the world for him.
5. Louis always seems surprised about the extent of 1D’s popularity, and this to me is a sign that he doesn’t think too highly of himself and of what he’s accomplished. Despite all the hard work that all the boys have put into their music over the past two years, the magnitude of their success is something that Louis still has trouble accepting.


6. Recently, there’s some speculation about Louis’s dissatisfaction with his body. There is some proof, what with his quote to The Sun about seeing a personal trainer, and efforts to hide his tummy in recent interviews. If Louis is truly struggling with body image issues, I can understand why, being a celebrity who is in the spotlight alongside four other really fit bandmates and expected to look perfect at all times. I just wish he could be a normal lad who didn’t have to care about this stuff. Mostly of all, I just wish he could be happy with himself without constantly feeling that he has to live up to people’s expectations.
See that crinkly-eyed laugh? I want more of that. That’s the boy I fell in love with. I’m sure that’s the boy Harry fell in love with.

Carefree Lou, cheeky Lou, girly Lou, androgynous Lou, the Lou who sat on boys’ laps and didn’t give a fuck what people thought, the Lou who wasn’t afraid to show affection towards the curly-haired boy he had just met, the Lou who danced to the beat of his own drum … that’s his true self and I’m sure he’d revert back to that in a heartbeat if given the freedom to do so. But the ugly truth is that he doesn’t have that freedom. And I miss him.